McDonald’s Job Application

When it pays to be honest


This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?  Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?    If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?  Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?  I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?  I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?  On the job, no; on my breaks, yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?  Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?  Yes. Absolutely.


see also   Inspiration,  Language  &  Restaurant  Sections
McDonalds Australia
McDonalds in South America
McDonald’s New Customer
McDonalds Reaches Africa
Wal-Mart Job Application
WalMart Math

 

Shopping Bike

Miss Beautiful Spine

Art School Graduate

Fish Diet Meal

Tall Secret

Fishnet Stockings

Dog Proctologist

Calculated Jump

Stowaway Soccer Fan

Don't Drink And Climb

Milky Way

Maid Confusion

Student Food Strainer

Shark Circles

Topographic Sink

Rock Watcher

We Call It Lake

Single Men For Long-Term Commitment

Sitting Just Off Center

Dentist Bowling
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

24-Jun-2018