It’s great to
be a Man - Because:
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So, notice anything different?”
One mood, ALL the damn time.
And don’t forget...... Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
You never feel the need to wash your underwear out simply because they are slightly soiled. Just throw them in the dirty clothes with everything else.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: “He must be mad at me.”
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers
I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown
I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson
I owe it all to little chocolate doughnuts. - John Belushi
When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown
It does seem like the chocolate brings good luck. - Lauren Oliver
I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown
Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown
To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth. - Esi Edugyan
If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. - Kim Knott
Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays. - Unknown
If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook
When we don't have the words, chocolate can speak volumes. - Joan Bauer
Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair
Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine
In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown
In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings
Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite
I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz
There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson
I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman
A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn
The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore
More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson
Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo
Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke
There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns
You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain
Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown
I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson
I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker
Aging, History & Trivia Sections
2 Carrot Ring
Bluenecks: Revenge of the Rednecks
Redneck Electric Pool
Redneck Estate Sale
Redneck Swing Tree
Redneck Tree Fort
Redneck Water Taps
A Woman’s Mind
Arkansas Divorce Application
Before The Impact
Divorce Is Grand
Everything Men Know About Women
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
OCD Ball Pit
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
Daddy, Can I Ride It?
Daily Trivia I
Post-it Succession Planning
Vacuum Cleaning Skills
Stay Off The Grass
Best Tea Cup
An Evening Prayer
Stealing A Bass
Beware Of Sign
Two Meals In One
Ford Door Lock
Found The Jackpot
2fer Sudoku Puzzles C
Bear's Submarine Patrol
Cat Got Your Tail?
Redneck Seafood Dinner