Politically Correct Statements

Is your room passive restrictive?


Your bedroom isn’t cluttered, it’s just “passage restrictive.”

Kids don’t get grounded anymore. They merely hit “social speed bumps.”

You’re not late, you just have a “rescheduled arrival time.”

You’re not having a bad hair day, you’re suffering from “rebellious follicle syndrome.”

No one’s tall anymore. He’s “vertically enhanced.”

You’re not shy. You’re “conversationally selective.”

You don’t talk a lot. You’re just “abundantly verbal.”

It’s not called gossip anymore. It’s “the speedy transmission of near-factual information.”


AND FOR STUDENTS...

The food at the school cafeteria isn’t awful. It’s “digestively challenged.”

No one fails a class anymore, he’s merely “passing impaired.”

You don’t have detention, you’re just one of the “exit delayed.”

These days, a student isn’t lazy. He’s “energetically declined.”

Your locker isn’t overflowing with junk, it’s just “closure prohibitive.”

Your homework isn’t missing, its just having an “out-of-notebook experience.”

You’re not sleeping in class, you’re “rationing consciousness.”

You don’t have smelly gym socks, you have “odor-retentive athletic footwear.”

You weren’t passing notes in class. You were “participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations.”

You’re not being sent to the principal’s office. You’re “going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.”


see also   Language   &  Politics   Sections
Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
Politically Correct Women Terminology

 

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Cell Phone Booth

Topless Kate Middleton

Skype Hype

Almost Batman

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Donut Decadence

Manmade Beach in Japan

Bacon Bikes

Animal Taxi

Lego Key Holder

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Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg

Fork Door Handle

Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower
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22-May-2019