Rules For Research
BOULDING'S FIRST LAW
If it happens, it must be possible.
FINAGLE'S LAWS:
1. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong;
2. No matter what result is anticipated, there is always someone willing to fake it;
3. No matter what the result, there is always someone eager to misinterpret it;
4. No matter what happens, there is always someone who believes it happened according to
his pet theory;
5. In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of
checking, is the mistake;
6. Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.
FINAGLE'S CREED
Science is Truth; don't be misled by facts.
FINAGLE'S COROLLARY
On a seasonally adjusted basis, there are only six months in a year.
If mathematically you end up with the wrong answer, try multiplying by the page number.
IGGY'S RULE OF SCIENTIFIC ADVANCES
All scientific discoveries are first recorded on napkins or tablecloths.
Engineering advances are drawn inside matchbook covers. Keep supplies of them handy at all
times.
RULES OF THE LAB
1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly;
2. Experiments must be reproduceable, they should fail the same way each time;
3. First draw your curves, then plot your data;
4. Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined;
5. A record of data is essential, it shows you were working;
6. To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start;
7. To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance;
8. If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the
question;
9. If that doesn't work, start at both ends and try to find a common middle;
10. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing;
11. Do not believe in miracles - rely on them;
12. Team work is essential. It allows you to blame someone else;
13. All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons;
14. Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will break before any use can be made of
it.
RULE OF ACCURACY
When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
RULE OF FAILURE
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you have tried.
RULE OF REASON
If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
ARNOLD'S LAWS OF DOCUMENTATION
1. If it should exist, it doesn't;
2. If it does exist, it's out of date
3. Only useless documentation transcends the first two laws.