Rules of Combat
When Mr. Grenade is not
your friend...
Anything you do can get you
shot. Including doing nothing.
Close only counts in horseshoes, nukes and proximity-fused missiles.
Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do
anything.
Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
Five second fuses only last three seconds.
If hit, landing near the people that just shot you down is not a good idea.
If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
If the Army wanted you to have a wife, they would have issued you one.
If the enemy is in range, so are
you.
If you are short on everything but enemy, you are in combat.
If you aren't sure, the claymore or SAMs is pointed at you.
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
Keep in mind that your aircraft was made by the lowest bidder.
Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
No combat-ready unit ever passed inspection.
No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat.
Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
Smart bombs have bad days too.
Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
The best defense is to stay out of range.
The easy way is always mined.
The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: (1) When you're not
ready for them;
(2) When you're ready for them.
The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
When in doubt empty the magazine.
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
During his toughening-up period in the Marines, my son's friend Joe asked
permission to phone his mother long distance.
“What
the blankety-blank are you,”
the CO barked, “a
sissy?”
“No,
sir,” he
replied. “But
my mom is.”