The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
It's never too late for chocolate. - Unknown

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I hope your only rocky road is chocolate. - Amanda Mosher

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. - Unknown

Chocolate is what I love. I have it every day. - Jennifer Hudson

Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! - Unknown

When no one understands you, chocolate is there. - Daniel Worona

It does seem like the chocolate brings good luck. - Lauren Oliver

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

Things are getting worse. Please send more chocolate. - Unknown

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth. - Esi Edugyan

To chocolate or not to chocolate... is there any question? - Unknown

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions. Chocolate understands. - Unknown

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

Chocolate is something you take for granted until you don't have any. - Marja McGraw

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

Chocolate makes otherwise normal people melt into strange states of ecstasy. - John West

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. - Forrest Gump

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

It was like having a box of chocolates shut in the bedroom drawer. Until the box was empty it occupied the mind too much. - Graham Greene

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Eat Your Vegetables

 

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25-Jun-2019