The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I hope your only rocky road is chocolate. - Amanda Mosher

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

I am a chocolatarian. I only eat chocolate. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. - Unknown

Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! - Unknown

We have chocolate in common - that's enough. - Rachel Hollis

I've never met a chocolate I didn't like. - Unknown

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth. - Esi Edugyan

Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays. - Unknown

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. - Fernando Pessoa

To chocolate or not to chocolate... is there any question? - Unknown

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions. Chocolate understands. - Unknown

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare... neither knew chocolate. - Sandra Boynton

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as salad. The End. - Unknown

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
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20-Apr-2019