The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
Chocolate never faileth. - Annette Lyon

Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

Books and chocolate make life bearable. - Unknown

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I hope your only rocky road is chocolate. - Amanda Mosher

I owe it all to little chocolate doughnuts. - John Belushi

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. - Unknown

Chocolate is what I love. I have it every day. - Jennifer Hudson

We have chocolate in common - that's enough. - Rachel Hollis

Sometimes a girl's gotta have some chocolate. - Carrie Underwood

I'm not overweight, I'm chocolate enriched. - Unknown

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

Things are getting worse. Please send more chocolate. - Unknown

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth. - Esi Edugyan

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

To chocolate or not to chocolate... is there any question? - Unknown

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

When we don't have the words, chocolate can speak volumes. - Joan Bauer

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Chocolate is medicinal. I just did another study that confirms it. - Michelle M. Pillow

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as salad. The End. - Unknown

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. - Forrest Gump

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
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17-Aug-2019