Santa Visits The Schmitt House

Some houses are not meant to deliver presents to





QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


see also   Bathroom  &  Christmas  Sections

 

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24-Apr-2018