Secrets For Entertaining
1. When one
hosts a dinner party, it is essential that all the place mats match, or, at the very
least, that they should all come from the same fast-food restaurant.
2. Entertaining in your backyard. The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good lawnmower. I
recommend one that is muscular and shirtless and wears a thong bathing suit.
3. My favorite party game is "Pin the Cleanup on the House Guests."
4. Nothing in the world is quite so entertaining as pouring old milk into new containers
before having guests over.
5. A good host must always be a STICKLER for attractive food presentation! I always take
the foil COMPLETELY OFF the Frozen TV Dinners before serving.
6. Getting your home in tiptop shape for a party can be fun, especially if you think of it
as 'Kicking Dust Bunny's Butt!'
7. Take short cuts! I used to offer my guests instant coffee. They kept whining for hot
water to go with it.
8. The best way to prepare a roast is to make an aluminum foil tent over your roasting
pan. Similarly, the best way to prepare for relatives and friends is to pitch a tent in
the backyard and keep them there until they leave.
9. When decorating for a party, be creative with regular household items. Some people
might just see a moldy shower curtain with torn eyelets. What do I see? A new tablecloth.
10. The better you cook, the more likely your family and guests will return. Which is why
I'm not usually too hot in the kitchen.