The Stress Diet

Coping with constant stress


This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ...

BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz skimmed milk

LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID AFTERNOON SNACK
rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints of rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 milky way candy bars

LATE EVENING SNACK
Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer

RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories;
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake;
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner;
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel;
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage;
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae;
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color;
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles.




QuotaBills
I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr


see also   Food  Section
A Balanced Diet
Balanced Diet
Balanced Food Delivery
Balanced Meal
Beauty Bag
Bus Wait Weight
Coffee Spoon
Diet Fork
Diet Hard
Diet Pills
Diet Silverware
Diet Spoon
Diet Utensils
Donut Sale
Gin & Tonic Diet
Important Health Information
Jogger’s Weight Scale
Learn To Cook
Milkshake Diet
My New Diet
Obesity Is OK
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Squeegee Clothing
Texas Diet
Vodka Diet
Weight Watchers Bus

 

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23-Oct-2018