The Stress Diet

Coping with constant stress


This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ...

BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz skimmed milk

LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID AFTERNOON SNACK
rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints of rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 milky way candy bars

LATE EVENING SNACK
Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer

RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories;
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake;
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner;
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel;
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage;
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae;
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color;
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles.




QuotaBills
Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

Have a healthy disregard for the impossible. - Larry Page

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to create pretend identities. - Unknown

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you. - Mr Spock

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


see also   Food  Section
A Balanced Diet
Balanced Diet
Balanced Food Delivery
Balanced Meal
Beauty Bag
Bus Wait Weight
Coffee Spoon
Diet Fork
Diet Hard
Diet Pills
Diet Silverware
Diet Spoon
Diet Utensils
Donut Sale
Gin & Tonic Diet
Important Health Information
Jogger’s Weight Scale
Learn To Cook
Milkshake Diet
My New Diet
Obesity Is OK
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Squeegee Clothing
Texas Diet
Vodka Diet
Weight Watchers Bus

 

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19-May-2019