The Stress Diet

Coping with constant stress


This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ...

BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz skimmed milk

LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID AFTERNOON SNACK
rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints of rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 milky way candy bars

LATE EVENING SNACK
Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer

RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories;
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake;
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner;
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel;
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage;
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae;
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color;
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles.




QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


see also   Food  Section
A Balanced Diet
Balanced Diet
Balanced Food Delivery
Balanced Meal
Beauty Bag
Bus Wait Weight
Coffee Spoon
Diet Fork
Diet Hard
Diet Pills
Diet Silverware
Diet Spoon
Diet Utensils
Donut Sale
Gin & Tonic Diet
Important Health Information
Jogger’s Weight Scale
Learn To Cook
Milkshake Diet
My New Diet
Obesity Is OK
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Squeegee Clothing
Texas Diet
Vodka Diet
Weight Watchers Bus

 

Texas Cow Cleaner

Here Comes Another One

Protractor Cook

Falling In Love

Owl And Batgirl

Sitting on the Hot Seat

Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Hawaii Surfing

Cloud Swing

Stork Exhaust

Napping Semis

Jigsaw Sudoku Puzzles B

Smoking In The Boy’s Room

High Tide Heels

Pen Utensils

SUV Sinkhole

Show Stopper

You Never Call

Not Going Outside Minions

Acoustic Hearing Aids
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23-Feb-2018