The Stress Diet

Coping with constant stress


This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ...

BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz skimmed milk

LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID AFTERNOON SNACK
rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints of rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 milky way candy bars

LATE EVENING SNACK
Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer

RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories;
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake;
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner;
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel;
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage;
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae;
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color;
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles.




QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

It's simple. If it jiggles, it's fat. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man. - Lin Yutang

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


see also   Food  Section
A Balanced Diet
Balanced Diet
Balanced Food Delivery
Balanced Meal
Beauty Bag
Bus Wait Weight
Coffee Spoon
Diet Fork
Diet Hard
Diet Pills
Diet Silverware
Diet Spoon
Diet Utensils
Donut Sale
Gin & Tonic Diet
Important Health Information
Jogger’s Weight Scale
Learn To Cook
Milkshake Diet
My New Diet
Obesity Is OK
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Squeegee Clothing
Texas Diet
Vodka Diet
Weight Watchers Bus

 

Spaghetti Cooker

Elephant Sunset

Tumbleweed Hairstyle

Car Jump

Darth Fiddler

African Ambulance

Fluent Sarcasm

A Picture Of Me In The Shower

Young Body Painter

Toemongous

How Russians Play Chess

Sudoku Cats

Luke FloorWalker

Proud Pug Parents

Reach For Your Dreams

Bouncing Checks

Abbreviated Beetle

Glass Prescription

Log Out - Here It Comes!

Roo Paper
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

19-Jul-2019