joe-ks.com

Texas Three-Kick Rule
Y’all know how things are settled in Texas?

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?”

The Farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot! Now, it’s my turn!”

The old farmer smiled and said, “No, I give up. You can have the duck!”


see also   Farm,  Hunting  &  Lawyer  Sections
Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas
“BIG” Texas Rattlesnake
Negotiations Texas Style
Only In Texas
Redneck Porch Hunter
Room Service in a Texas Hotel
Shopping In Texas
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bakery
Texas Bank Security
Texas Car Wash
Texas Chili Taster
Texas Cow Cleaner
Texas Divorce
Texas Drought
Texas Farmer
Texas Flashlight
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Texas Limo
Texas Motorcycle Seat
Texas Outhouse Art
Texas Rain Gauge
Texas Rocking Chair
Texas Speed Camera
Texas Style Arrest
Texas Wildcat Dentist
Why We Live in Texas

Big shoes to fill
Redneck In Training
Finding true sock-sess in fashion clothing
Sock Sandals
Proving that women are always right
Men To The Left
Close inspection of tree rings reveals animal traits
Animal Rings
Steven Spielberg releases Jaws IV in Israel
Jews: The Revenge
Some kids never seem to grow up
Former Baby
Walking through security at the Needle Gate
The Eye Of A Needle
For some reason the plants grow better with moonshine
Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler
Keeping watch over the fields of prey
Snowy Barn Owl
Making early plans for a NASCAR debut
His First Hot Rod
Inside the grounds of the Crusader Church of St. Anne
Arch Support
Star Trek props revealed
Stealth Flying Saucer
Belieber fans start at an early age
Justin Beiber Clothing
How Bubba welcomes mice in his house
Redneck Mousetrap
Bubba lowers the bar
Diet Swing
Crossing the Canine Chasm
Stairway Dog
Bible prophecy fulfilled!
Dead Sea Fish
Submissions by Henry ArchibaldFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

25-May-2013

QR Code

G'Oldies

When Life Gets You Down
Redneck Wireless Securi ...
Wireframe Dog
Edinburgh Fringe Festiv ...
European Speed Bumps
English-isms
Kids Home
Joe in Mexico
Swimming Buddies
Business School Graduat ...
Day At The Beach
Halloween Joe-ks
Compact Fluorescent Cha ...
Find The Lady
If Dogs Sent Letters To ...
'Back' To Work
Hummers Only Look Tough
Going For Gold
Doctor Stories
Zero Gravity Pen - Spac ...
Expired Marriage
Da End Iss Near
Liver and Spleen Lectur ...
Canadian Health Care
Dog Hates Junk E-Mail
Every Man's Philosophy
Whose Problem
Exercise Helps Pregnanc ...
Redneck Space Shuttle
Dear Crossing
Inner Strength
I Have No Time For Your ...
My Valentine
It's The Thought That C ...
Fake Carolina Drawl
Florida Moves Out Of Hu ...
Very Fat Burger
Bier Making Oudfit - Ba ...
Catnastics
Driver's License Please
4 Stages Of Life
Awning Truck Advertisin ...
Crocodile Escape
Baby Sitting Animals
Long, Happy Marriage
Electricity Storage
Hide and Seek
Inflationary Language
Underneath or On Top Ca ...
Redneck Bungee Jumping
Sitting Just Off Center
Generous Lawyer
Bread Slice
Bungee Jumping 'Down Un ...
Hungry Door Lock
Doggey Do
'Outside The Box' Juggl ...
Don't Think About Sendi ...
Texas Divorce
Redneck Fishing
1st Rolex
Can I Play In There Mom ...
Aardvark Marriage Insur ...
Stalin Stamps