Newfoundlander, an Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. There was only one
other person in the bar; a man. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he
seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him
before, when suddenly the Irishman cried out, "I know who that man is. It's
The others looked again and, sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.
The Irishman calls out, "Hey! Hey, you! Are you Jesus?"
The man looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am Jesus," he says.
The Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him, "I'd like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me."
So the bartender pours Jesus a Guinness and takes it over to his table. Jesus looks over, raises his glass, smiles thank you and drinks.
The Englishman then calls out, "Er, excuse me Sir, but would you be Jesus?"
Jesus smiles and says, "Yes, I am Jesus."
The Englishman beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the men.
Then the Newfoundlander calls out, "Hey, you! D'ya reckon you're Jesus, or what?"
Jesus nods and says, "Yes, I am Jesus."
The Newfie is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a bottle of Black Horse for Jesus, which he accepts with pleasure.
Some time later, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches the three men. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement. "Oh! the arthritis is gone," he says. "The arthritis I've had for years is gone. It's a miracle!"
Jesus then shakes the hand of the Englishman, thanking him for the Newcastle Brown Ale. Upon letting go, the Englishman's eyes widen in shock. "By jove," he exclaims, "The migraine I've had for over 40 years is completely gone. It's a miracle!"
Jesus then approaches the Newfoundlander who has a terrified look on his face. "Back off, buddy, I'm on workman's comp!"