Dieting Thoughts
1.
Chinese diet: you can eat every thing you want with only one chopstick.
2. I was on a diet so hard that I couldn't even lick stamps unless they had low
calorie glue.
3. Once I tried to be on a diet: they were the 3 worst hours in my life.
4. The secret of health is moderation: because of this I limit the number of
diets I start.
5. In every fat man there is a thin man trying to get out to write a book on
diets.
6. Inside me is a thin man struggling to get out. But I can usually sedate him
with a few Twinkies.
7. When I start a diet, the first thing I lose is my willpower.
8. I just discovered the real balanced diet: now my stomach is jutting out as
far as my bottom.
9. I had a diet based on garlic: I didn't even lose a pound, but as compensation
I lost many friends.
10. Despair is to shave before weighing.
11. The second day of a diet is easier. Because by then you are off it.