Hole In One

A turtle’s target practice on the golf course





QuotaBills
Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Putting your hands in the earth is very grounding. - John Glover

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

Try to be like the turtle - at ease in your own shell. - Bill Copeland

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on. - French proverb

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out. - James Bryant Conant

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. - George Burns

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

I do know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together. - Charles Dickens

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

It is often wonderful how putting down on paper a clear statement of a case helps one to see, not perhaps the way out, but the way in. - Arthur Christopher Benson

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


see also   Golf  &  Scenery  Sections

 

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Origin of the Whoopee Cushion

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Don't Try This At Home

Computer Programmers

Live Catfish Display

Quad (Hyper) Sudoku E

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Texas Wheel Mags

Teabucks

Bacon Soda Sales

Whoop C

You're Welcome

Wailea Beach

Class Notes

Turtle Home

Innocent Plants

McCrapper

Cat Milk
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24-Oct-2017