Hole In One

A turtle’s target practice on the golf course





QuotaBills
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Putting your hands in the earth is very grounding. - John Glover

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause. - Bruce Feiler

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

You are absolutely free to describe me as a turtle or something. - Paul Giamatti

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on. - French proverb

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out. - James Bryant Conant

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

A good lie will have traveled half way around the world while the truth is putting on her boots. - Mark Twain

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


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24-Jun-2017