Hole In One

A turtle’s target practice on the golf course





QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause. - Bruce Feiler

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? - George Carlin

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

You are absolutely free to describe me as a turtle or something. - Paul Giamatti

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose. - Fred Allen

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. - George Burns

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. - Mark Twain

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

A good lie will have traveled half way around the world while the truth is putting on her boots. - Mark Twain

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, a science which I have practiced for a good many years. - Prince Philip

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


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20-Aug-2017