Advertisement Potpourri

Advertising with a sense of humour


3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

For sale: An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.
For Sale: Three canaries of undermined sex.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

In the instructions for a Korean kitchen knife: “Keep out of children.”

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

On a can of insect spray: “Kills all kinds of insects! Warning: this spray is harmful to bees.”

A different brand of insect spray: “Kills flies, wasps, mosquitoes, midges, and other flying insects. Not tested on animals.”

On a Halloween Batman costume: “This cape does not give the wearer the ability to fly.”

On a packet of juggling balls: “This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA.”

On an ocean buoy for determining the position of submarines: “Protect from seawater.”

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Wanted: Chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Wanted: Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.


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14-Aug-2018