Here are just a few of the amazing advantages that stem from borrowing the company car:

- It accelerates at a phenomenal rate;
- It has a much shorter braking distance than your private car;
- It takes speed bumps at twice the speed of private cars;
- The battery, radiator water, oil and tires never have to be checked;
- It can be driven up to 60 miles with the oil warning light flashing;
- It needs cleaning less often than private cars;
- The suspension is reinforced to allow for the weekend loads of bricks, concrete slabs and other building material;
- Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning up the radio;
- It needs no security system and may be left anywhere, unlocked and with the keys in the ignition; and
- It is especially sand and waterproof for barbeques and fishing expeditions on remote beaches.