My wife, Marilyn accompanied me to the doctor's office for my annual physical.

After the physical, and while I was getting dressed the doctor called Marilyn into his office alone.
He told Marilyn, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible
stress. If you do not follow my advice your husband will surely die.”

“Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood.
For lunch make him a nutritious meal and put it on a TV tray in front of his lounging chair.
For dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him and let him eat it where he chooses.
Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress.
Don't discuss your problems with him because it will only make his stress worse.
Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him several backrubs.
Encourage him to watch sporting events on television.
And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim.”

“If you can do this for the next year, I think your husband will begin to regain his health.”

On the way home, I asked Marilyn what the doctor told her.
She said “You’re going to die.”