Mental Patient’s Exit Exam

Exit exam based on simple math question


Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”

The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”

The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.

“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”


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No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Treat the patient, not the X-ray. - James M. Hunter

A patient man will ultimately succeed. - Unknown

Half this game is ninety percent mental. - Yogi Berra

Beware the wrath of a patient adversary. - John C. Calhoun

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Mental clarity ain't for the faint of heart. - Katerina Stoykova Klemer

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical. - Yogi Berra

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. - Edith Sitwell

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Never forget that it is not a pneumonia, but a pneumonic man who is your patient. - William Withey Gull

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. - Helen Keller

If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb

The fact that your patient gets well does not prove that your diagnosis was correct. - Samuel J. Meltzer

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities: a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity. - Howard Eves

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

The joy of surfing is so many things combined, from the physical exertion of it, to the challenge of it, to the mental side of the sport. - Kelly Slater

A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller


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17-Jan-2017