Mental Patient’s Exit Exam

Exit exam based on simple math question


Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”

The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”

The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.

“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”


QuotaBills
Nurses are patient people. - Unknown

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

Treat the patient, not the X-ray. - James M. Hunter

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

The patient always lies on the couch. - Unknown

A patient man will ultimately succeed. - Unknown

Beware the wrath of a patient adversary. - John C. Calhoun

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

The patient has the right to accept your advice or to ignore it. - Martin H. Fischer

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb

Don't be hollerin' at him, will ya - you'll give him a mental sterosis. - Archie Bunker

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

The fact that your patient gets well does not prove that your diagnosis was correct. - Samuel J. Meltzer

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. - St. Paul

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done. - Bo Bennett

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. - Norman Vincent Peale

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. - Thomas Jefferson


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24-Sep-2018