Mental Patient’s Exit Exam

Exit exam based on simple math question


Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”

The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”

The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.

“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”


QuotaBills
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden

Treat the patient, not the X-ray. - James M. Hunter

A patient man will ultimately succeed. - Unknown

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical. - Yogi Berra

The patient has the right to accept your advice or to ignore it. - Martin H. Fischer

I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. - Edith Sitwell

Faith, to my mind, is a stiffening process, a sort of mental starch. - E.M. Forster

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. - Helen Keller

Don't be hollerin' at him, will ya - you'll give him a mental sterosis. - Archie Bunker

Character is the result of two things: Mental attitude and the way we spend our time. - Elbert Green Hubbard

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Believe in the reasonable decency of the brethren; patients are not stolen — they run away. - Martin H. Fischer

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Let the young know they will never find a more interesting, more instructive book than the patient himself. - Giorgio Baglivi

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities: a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity. - Howard Eves

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide

Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient, and the best things come to those who don't give up. - Zig Ziglar

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. - Thomas Jefferson


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23-Mar-2017