Mental Patient’s Exit Exam

Exit exam based on simple math question


Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”

The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”

The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.

“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”


QuotaBills
Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical. - Yogi Berra

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Never forget that it is not a pneumonia, but a pneumonic man who is your patient. - William Withey Gull

If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb

The fact that your patient gets well does not prove that your diagnosis was correct. - Samuel J. Meltzer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

Let the young know they will never find a more interesting, more instructive book than the patient himself. - Giorgio Baglivi

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities: a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity. - Howard Eves

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

The joy of surfing is so many things combined, from the physical exertion of it, to the challenge of it, to the mental side of the sport. - Kelly Slater

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. - Norman Vincent Peale

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Nothing has afforded me so convincing a proof of the unity of the Deity as these purely mental conceptions of numerical and mathematical science. - Mary Somerville


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22-Mar-2019