Mental Patient’s Exit Exam

Exit exam based on simple math question


Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”

The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”

The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.

“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”


QuotaBills
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Beware the wrath of a patient adversary. - John C. Calhoun

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Mental clarity ain't for the faint of heart. - Katerina Stoykova Klemer

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical. - Yogi Berra

The patient has the right to accept your advice or to ignore it. - Martin H. Fischer

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude. - Dale Carnegie

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Let the young know they will never find a more interesting, more instructive book than the patient himself. - Giorgio Baglivi

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell

Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient, and the best things come to those who don't give up. - Zig Ziglar

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher


see also   Hospital  &  Medical  Sections
Advantages of Mother’s Milk
Audible Sobs
Cheat of the Year
Children’s Science Exam Answers
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Detroit High School - Math Proficiency Exam
Excerpts from Medical Records
Failed Logistics Exam
Final Exams In North Korea
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
Gynecologist Exam
How To Prevent Cheating
Inspiring School Exams
Irish Exam
Japanese Eye Test
Lady’s Yearly Exam
Redneck Engineering Exam
Seeing End Dog - New Vet Exam
Senior Eye Exam
University of Georgia Entrance Exam

 

Piano Dog

China's Building Standards

Sudoku Sampler

Pink Pig Volvo (Redneck-Compatible)

Ford Was All We Had

Puddle Bath

Shark Tricyle

Roller Derby Princess

Landing On The Moon

Guitar Fish Bowl

Bent Over

Humpback Kayak

Zebra Keyboard

Elton or Eltoff?

Blog Post

Garage Add-on

Skeletons In The Closet

Couch Dog vs. Paint Shop Pros

Jigsaw Sudoku Puzzles

Bicycle Built For Two
Submissions by Woody ForrestFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

24-Feb-2017