Mental Patient’s Exit Exam

Exit exam based on simple math question


Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”

The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”

The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.

“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”


QuotaBills
Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Treat the patient, not the X-ray. - James M. Hunter

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

The patient always lies on the couch. - Unknown

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Mental clarity ain't for the faint of heart. - Katerina Stoykova Klemer

Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical. - Yogi Berra

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. - Margaret Thatcher

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. - Patricia Neal

Don't be hollerin' at him, will ya - you'll give him a mental sterosis. - Archie Bunker

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

The fact that your patient gets well does not prove that your diagnosis was correct. - Samuel J. Meltzer

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer


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22-Aug-2017