Mental Patient’s Exit Exam

Exit exam based on simple math question


Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”

The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”

The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.

“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”


QuotaBills
Nurses are patient people. - Unknown

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

A patient man will ultimately succeed. - Unknown

Half this game is ninety percent mental. - Yogi Berra

Beware the wrath of a patient adversary. - John C. Calhoun

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical. - Yogi Berra

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

The patient has the right to accept your advice or to ignore it. - Martin H. Fischer

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Character is the result of two things: Mental attitude and the way we spend our time. - Elbert Green Hubbard

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Believe in the reasonable decency of the brethren; patients are not stolen — they run away. - Martin H. Fischer

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude. - Dale Carnegie

The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian.
He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to just know. - Will Rogers

The joy of surfing is so many things combined, from the physical exertion of it, to the challenge of it, to the mental side of the sport. - Kelly Slater

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles


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24-Sep-2016