Mental Patient’s Exit Exam

Exit exam based on simple math question


Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”

The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”

The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.

“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”


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Treat the patient, not the X-ray. - James M. Hunter

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Beware the fury of the patient man. - John Dryden

Beware the wrath of a patient adversary. - John C. Calhoun

Mental clarity ain't for the faint of heart. - Katerina Stoykova Klemer

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical. - Yogi Berra

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

The patient has the right to accept your advice or to ignore it. - Martin H. Fischer

I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. - Edith Sitwell

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Never forget that it is not a pneumonia, but a pneumonic man who is your patient. - William Withey Gull

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. - Helen Keller

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done. - Bo Bennett

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. - Thomas Jefferson


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27-Jul-2016