Mental Patient’s Exit Exam

Exit exam based on simple math question


Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”

The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”

The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.

“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”


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Nurses are patient people. - Unknown

Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Beware the wrath of a patient adversary. - John C. Calhoun

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Believe in the reasonable decency of the brethren; patients are not stolen — they run away. - Martin H. Fischer

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done. - Bo Bennett

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide

The joy of surfing is so many things combined, from the physical exertion of it, to the challenge of it, to the mental side of the sport. - Kelly Slater

A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. - Thomas Jefferson


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22-May-2017