Mental Patient’s Exit Exam

Exit exam based on simple math question


Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”

The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”

The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.

“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”


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Nurses are patient people. - Unknown

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden

Treat the patient, not the X-ray. - James M. Hunter

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

The patient always lies on the couch. - Unknown

Half this game is ninety percent mental. - Yogi Berra

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The patient has the right to accept your advice or to ignore it. - Martin H. Fischer

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Faith, to my mind, is a stiffening process, a sort of mental starch. - E.M. Forster

Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger

A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. - Patricia Neal

Character is the result of two things: Mental attitude and the way we spend our time. - Elbert Green Hubbard

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

This yoga should be practiced with firm determination and perseverance, without any mental reservation or doubts. - Bhagavad Gita

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The joy of surfing is so many things combined, from the physical exertion of it, to the challenge of it, to the mental side of the sport. - Kelly Slater

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

Nothing has afforded me so convincing a proof of the unity of the Deity as these purely mental conceptions of numerical and mathematical science. - Mary Somerville


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22-Oct-2017