Mental Patient’s Exit Exam

Exit exam based on simple math question


Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”

The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”

The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.

“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”


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No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

The patient has the right to accept your advice or to ignore it. - Martin H. Fischer

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. - Margaret Thatcher

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. - Patricia Neal

If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Character is the result of two things: Mental attitude and the way we spend our time. - Elbert Green Hubbard

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Believe in the reasonable decency of the brethren; patients are not stolen — they run away. - Martin H. Fischer

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done. - Bo Bennett

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


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24-Apr-2017