Taking No Chance with the Mother-In-Law

Burial plans in the Holy Land


A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies.

They go to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home but that it’ll cost over $5000, whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150.

The guy says, “We’ll ship her home.”

The undertaker asks, “Are you sure? That’s an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here.”

The guy says, “Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”


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Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left. - Robert Byrne

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC Fields: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible." - WC Fields


see also   Easter  Section
Donald Trump Visits Israel

After Easter Bunny
Blonde’s Meaning of Easter
Broken Egg
Bunny Calendar
Chocolate Easter Bunnies
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Colour Car
Did You Say Happy Easter?
Dying Pope’s Last Request
Easter Bunny’s Hare Spray
Easter Bunny’s Rude Awakening
Easter Bunny Wisdom
Easter Canceled
Easter Car
Easter Cats
Easter Egg Drop-outs
Easter Elephant Eggs
Easter Identity Theft
Easter Sudoku Puzzle
Easter Yolks
Egg Couch
Egg Separator
Egg Walk
Eggs with Eyes
Eggsellent Close Shave
Eggsellent Friends
Facebook Fear
Firm Egg
Forgotten Easter Eggs
Golfer’s Breakfast
Happy Easter, Big Guy
Happy Keester
Hare Five
Hoppy Easter
How Easter Eggs Are Made
How Many Eggs?
Identity Theft
Jerusalem Obituary,  33 A.D.
Leaving A Good Impression
Missed Palm Sunday
Pine Trees Know When It’s Easter
Purrrfect Disguise
Rabbit or Duck?
Stuffed Bunny
Texas Easter Bunny
The Rules of Chocolate
The Crucifixion
The Resurrection
What Happened?
What’s In Easter?

 

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24-Sep-2017