A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law.
The mother-in-law dies.
They go to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home but that
it’ll cost over $5000, whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150.
The guy says, “We’ll ship her home.”
The undertaker asks, “Are you sure? That’s an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here.”
The guy says, “Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”
Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon
There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley
Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire
Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin
I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey
Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem
Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left. - Robert Byrne
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman
My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II
Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman
Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law."
WC Fields: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible." - WC Fields
Donald Trump Visits Israel
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Easter Bunny’s Rude Awakening
Easter Bunny Wisdom
Easter Egg Drop-outs
Easter Elephant Eggs
Easter Identity Theft
Easter Sudoku Puzzle
Eggs with Eyes
Eggsellent Close Shave
Forgotten Easter Eggs
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How Easter Eggs Are Made
How Many Eggs?
Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.
Leaving A Good Impression
Missed Palm Sunday
Pine Trees Know When It’s Easter
Rabbit or Duck?
Texas Easter Bunny
The Rules of Chocolate
What’s In Easter?
Science Fiction Recipes
How Mad Is She?
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Hung Out To Dry Dogs
Hazards of Nose Picking
Page Turn Mural
Why Fire Trucks Are Red
High Heel Gum Shoes
Putting Your Foot Down