“No Time For Anesthetic” Golfer

Make sure the Dentist doesn’t slow down your golf game


A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”

The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”

So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”


QuotaBills
Floss like a boss! - Unknown

Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown

Teeth are always in style. - Unknown

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


see also   Golf  Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction

 

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22-Jul-2018