“No Time For Anesthetic” Golfer

Make sure the Dentist doesn’t slow down your golf game


A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”

The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”

So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”


QuotaBills
Floss like a boss! - Unknown

Teeth are always in style. - Unknown

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

Too much freedom can lead to the soul's decay. - Prince

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown

For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


see also   Golf  Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction

 

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17-Sep-2019