“No Time For Anesthetic” Golfer

Make sure the Dentist doesn’t slow down your golf game


A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”

The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”

So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”


QuotaBills
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

Too much freedom can lead to the soul's decay. - Prince

Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. - Garrison Keillor

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


see also   Golf  Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction

 

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16-Dec-2018