“No Time For Anesthetic” Golfer

Make sure the Dentist doesn’t slow down your golf game


A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”

The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”

So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”


QuotaBills
Floss like a boss! - Unknown

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer

The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts. - Unknown

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. - Garrison Keillor

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump


see also   Golf  Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction

 

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21-Feb-2018