Help Me Before It’s Too Late!

Best Man’s last prank on the Groom





QuotaBills
One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. - St. Augustine

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. - Ilona Andrews

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle


see also   Marriage  &  Wedding  Sections
 

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17-Nov-2017