Insults With Class
Opening ones' mouth to subtract from the sum of human knowledge...
“He has
all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” -
Winston Churchill
“A modest
little person, with much to be modest about.” -
Winston Churchill
“I have
never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” -
Clarence Darrow
“He has
never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” -
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“Poor
Faulkner, Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” -
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
“Thank
you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.” - Moses
Hadas
“He can
compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” -
Abraham Lincoln
“I've had
a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.” -
Groucho Marx
“I didn't
attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark
Twain
“He has
no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” - Oscar
Wilde
“I am
enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if
you have one.” -
George Bernard Shaw (to Winston Churchill)
“Cannot
possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.” -
Winston Churchill (in response to George Bernard Shaw)
“I feel
so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.” -
Stephen Bishop
“He is a
self-made man and worships his creator.” - John
Bright
“I've
just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.” - Irvin
S. Cobb
“He is
not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” -
Samuel Johnson
“He is
simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” - Paul
Keating
“He had
delusions of adequacy.” -
Walter Kerr
“There's
nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.” - Jack
E. Leonard
“He has
the attention span of a lightning bolt.” -
Robert Redford
“They
never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” -
Thomas Brackett Reed
“He
inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears but by diligent hard
work, he overcame them.” - James
Reston (about Richard Nixon)
“In order
to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” - Count
Talleyrand
“He loves
nature in spite of what it did to him.” -
Forrest Tucker
“Why do
you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” - Mark
Twain
“His
mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae
West
“Some
cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar
Wilde
“A
gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.” - Oscar
Wilde
“I have
met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.” - Oscar
Wilde
“He uses
statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than
illumination.” -
Andrew Lang
“He has
Van Gogh's ear for music.” - Billy
Wilder
“If you
can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you
can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.” - J.
Russell Lynes
“A wise
man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to
unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.” -
Moliere
“Never
insult anyone by accident.” -
Robert A. Heinlein
“Insults
should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone.” - Arab
Proverb
“The way
to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than
he exacts.” -
William Hazlitt