Insults With Class

Opening ones’ mouth to subtract from the sum of human knowledge


“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” - Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” - Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” - Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner, Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” - Moses Hadas

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” - Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” - Groucho Marx

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” - Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one.” - George Bernard Shaw (to Winston Churchill)

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.” - Winston Churchill (in response to George Bernard Shaw)

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” - Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” - Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” - Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” - Paul Keating

“He had delusions of adequacy.” - Walter Kerr

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” - Jack E. Leonard

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.” - Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” - Thomas Brackett Reed

“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.” - James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” - Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” - Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde

“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.” - Oscar Wilde

“I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.” - Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.” - Andrew Lang

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” - Billy Wilder

“If you can’t ignore an insult, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it’s probably deserved.” - J. Russell Lynes

“A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.” - Moliere

“Never insult anyone by accident.” - Robert A. Heinlein

“Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone.” - Arab Proverb

“The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.” - William Hazlitt



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29-Apr-2017