Mom Tested, Mom Approved

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Mom sits in baby's stroller seat

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Mother is a verb, not a noun. - Shonda Rhimes

Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. - Spanish Proverb

The phrase working mother is redundant. - Jane Sellman

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. - Emily Dickinson

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Air pollution is turning Mother Nature prematurely gray. - Irv Kupcinet

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

She's descended from a long line her mother listened to. - Gypsy Rose Lee

Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still. - Nancy Friday

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

New mother - they get a sense of waddya call, "the maternals." - Archie Bunker

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology. - Ray Romano

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

I not only think we tamper with Mother Nature, I think that Mother Nature wants us to. - Willard Gatlin

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Mitch Albom

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


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MOM - Job Description
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13-Dec-2017