My Ex-Wife, The Pilot

Ex-wife’s narrow escape

My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God the kids weren’t with her.

The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: Judy was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene to show the extent of damage to her aircraft.
She was real lucky.

Broom looks like my wife the ex-pilot

Marry money. - Max Shulman

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

see also   Marriage  Section
A Woman’s Mind
Arkansas Divorce Application
Babcock Divorce
Communication Divorce
Divorce Cakes
Divorce Defined
Divorce Is Grand
In Three Pictures
Just Divorced
Keyboard Wedding
Old Divorce
Perfect Divorce
Polish Divorce
Redneck Divorce
Texas Divorce
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband


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