My Ex-Wife, The Pilot

Ex-wife’s narrow escape



My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God the kids weren’t with her.

The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: Judy was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene to show the extent of damage to her aircraft.
She was real lucky.

Broom looks like my wife the ex-pilot

QuotaBills
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton


see also   Marriage  Section
A Woman’s Mind
Arkansas Divorce Application
Babcock Divorce
Communication Divorce
Divorce Cakes
Divorce Defined
Divorce Is Grand
In Three Pictures
Just Divorced
Keyboard Wedding
Old Divorce
Perfect Divorce
Polish Divorce
Redneck Divorce
Texas Divorce
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband

 

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18-Jan-2019