Middle East Airlines

Airbus “grounded” on maiden flight



This new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane
ever built, sits just outside it’s hangar in Toulouse,
France, without a single hour of airtime on the clock...
Middle East Airlines Runway Accident

Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies
(ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as
engine run-ups prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi.
The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area...


Then they took all four engines to takeoff power with a
virtually empty aircraft. Not having read the run-up manuals,
they had no clue just how light an empty A340-600 really is...


The take-off warning horn was blaring away in the cockpit because
they had all 4 engines at full power. The aircraft computers thought
they were trying to take off, but the flaps/slats had not
been configured properly...


Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker
on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm.
This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air...


The computers automatically released all the brakes, and
set the aircraft rocketing forward - with the following result...


The Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technology crew had no idea that this
is a safety feature so that pilots can’t land with the brakes on.


Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew thought to
throttle back the engines from their max power setting, so the
£200 million aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totalling it.


The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown due to the
news blackout in the local media.


Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.


£200 million aircraft meets wall. Wall wins.
(But your secret is safe with joe-ks.com ...)

Fact or Fiction?


QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

God puts you on the runway and takes you off the runway. What you do on the runway is up to you. - Unknown

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


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23-May-2018