Middle East Airlines

Airbus “grounded” on maiden flight



This new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane
ever built, sits just outside it’s hangar in Toulouse,
France, without a single hour of airtime on the clock...
Middle East Airlines Runway Accident

Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies
(ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as
engine run-ups prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi.
The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area...


Then they took all four engines to takeoff power with a
virtually empty aircraft. Not having read the run-up manuals,
they had no clue just how light an empty A340-600 really is...


The take-off warning horn was blaring away in the cockpit because
they had all 4 engines at full power. The aircraft computers thought
they were trying to take off, but the flaps/slats had not
been configured properly...


Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker
on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm.
This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air...


The computers automatically released all the brakes, and
set the aircraft rocketing forward - with the following result...


The Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technology crew had no idea that this
is a safety feature so that pilots can’t land with the brakes on.


Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew thought to
throttle back the engines from their max power setting, so the
£200 million aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totalling it.


The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown due to the
news blackout in the local media.


Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.


£200 million aircraft meets wall. Wall wins.
(But your secret is safe with joe-ks.com ...)

Fact or Fiction?


QuotaBills
Owning a drone does not a pilot make. - Alex Morritt

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

Disappointments are to the soul what thunderstorms are to the air. - Johann C. F. von Schiller

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?" - Robin Williams

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


see also   Airplane  &  Safety  Sections
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17-Feb-2018