Recession Boss

Office productivity during lean times



Your boss before the recession:  “Nice job!”
Recession Boss - cat pats duck on head

Your boss during the recession:  “Please put more effort into your work!”


Your boss after the Quarterly Report:  “I said, 'More effort!' ”


“The beatings will continue until morale improves!”



QuotaBills
Floss like a boss! - Unknown

Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. - Swedish Proverb

The longer the title, the less important the job. - George McGovern

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

The job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery. - Francis Bacon

If you do a job too well, you'll get stuck with it. - Unknown

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. - Jim Rohn

An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience. - Dilbert

Do your job and demand your compensation - but in that order. - Cary Grant

It's a job never started that takes the longest to finish. - JRR Tolkien

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

When the situation is hopeless, there's nothing to worry about. - Edward Abbey

I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office. - Thomas Jefferson

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

We always admire the other fellow more after we have tried to do his job. - William Feather

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Pessimists are not boring. Pessimists are right. Pessimists are superfluous. - Elias Canetti

People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it. - Howard Newton

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application. - Ken Kraft

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. - Robert Frost

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire. - Dan Zevin

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges. - Jack Handy

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Wherever I go, people are waving at me. Maybe if I do a good job, they'll use all their fingers. - Frank King

I have far too many skeletons in my closet to think about any sort of serious mention of public office. - David Cone

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. - Mark Twain

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

The Brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. - Mark Twain


see also   Office,  Stress  &  Work  Sections
The Recession
Recession Cutbacks

 

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Sorry

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Tearable Puns
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24-Aug-2019