The Pastor’s Donkey

An animal that gets around town

Well, kiss my donkey!


The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read: “PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.”
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.”
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: “NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.”
The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: “NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.”
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: “NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.”
The Bishop was buried the next day.


The moral of the story: Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll live longer!


QuotaBills
Slow and steady wins the race. - Aesop

Movie about nuns, starring Ingrid Bernstein - Archie Bunker

Pessimism is the triumph of worry over matter. - Unknown

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

Hard work is exhilarating; worrying hard is a killer. - Joe Segal

I do not regard a broker as a member of the human race. - Honore de Balzac

The finish line is just the beginning of a whole new race. - Susan Saint James

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Don't worry about your heart. It will last as long as you live. - WC Fields

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. - Unknown

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. - Leo Buscaglia

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. - Unknown

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. - Walter Elliott

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White

Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money. - Johnny Cash

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. - Dale Carnegie

If you worry about yesterday's failures, then today's successes will be few. - Unknown

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. - Robert Frost

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

Don't worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try. - Jack Canfield

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. - Damon Runyon

In this age, the man who dares to think for himself and to act independently does a service to his race. - John Stuart Mill

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn't change anything. It messes with your mind and steals your happiness. - Unknown

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying. - Dale Carnegie

Worrying is the most natural and spontaneous of all human functions. It is time to acknowledge this, perhaps even to learn to do it better. - Lewis Thomas

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. - Dale Carnegie

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster


see also   Donkey  &  Religious  Sections
Italian Rolex
Not A Shot Was Fired
Protect Your Ass
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21-Apr-2019