Great Crab Day

Fishing for a better relationship


The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your missing wife,” said one of the troopers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens asked with concern.

The troopers looked at each other and then one of them said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.”

The trooper said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay.”

“Oh no!” exclaimed Wilkens.

Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

The trooper continued, “When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs and 6 good-sized Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, “If that’s the good news, then what’s the great news?”

The trooper replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”


When Alaska State Troopers bring you good and bad news

QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


see also   Fishing,  Marriage,  Police,  Relationship  &  Stress  Sections
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11-Dec-2018