Great Crab Day

Fishing for a better relationship


The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your missing wife,” said one of the troopers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens asked with concern.

The troopers looked at each other and then one of them said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.”

The trooper said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay.”

“Oh no!” exclaimed Wilkens.

Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

The trooper continued, “When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs and 6 good-sized Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, “If that’s the good news, then what’s the great news?”

The trooper replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”


When Alaska State Troopers bring you good and bad news

QuotaBills
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious. - Bill Meyer

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Fishing,  Marriage,  Police,  Relationship  &  Stress  Sections
Scuba Diving Accident

 

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Security Guard

Real FootBall

Burger King Street

SkeleChair

Eating Kaka

Dark Side Bus Stop
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26-Jun-2019