Great Crab Day

Fishing for a better relationship


The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your missing wife,” said one of the troopers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens asked with concern.

The troopers looked at each other and then one of them said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.”

The trooper said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay.”

“Oh no!” exclaimed Wilkens.

Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

The trooper continued, “When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs and 6 good-sized Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, “If that’s the good news, then what’s the great news?”

The trooper replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”


When Alaska State Troopers bring you good and bad news

QuotaBills
A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway


see also   Fishing,  Marriage,  Police,  Relationship  &  Stress  Sections
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18-Sep-2019