Cheating U.S. Politician in 2016
How To Win An Election

Once upon a time, there was a Presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election.

After much talk about ballot recounting & court challenges, a week-long ice fishing competition between the two candidates seemed the best way to settle things. The winner would be the candidate who caught the most fish at the end of the week.

After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a cold, remote lake in Maine. There were to be no observers present, and both candidates were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification. At the end of the first day, Hillary Clinton returns to the starting line with 10 fish. Soon, Donald Trump returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone assumes he is just having a bad hair day or something and, hopefully, he will catch up the next day.

At the end of the second day, Clinton comes in with 20 fish and Trump comes in again with none. That evening, Trump’s campaign manager gets together secretly with Trump and says, “I think Clinton is a lowlife scheming cheat-her. I want you to go out tomorrow and don’t even bother with fishing. Just spy on her and see if she is cheating in any way.”

The next night (after Clinton comes back with 50 fish), the campaign manager says to Trump, “Well, what about it, is Clinton cheating’?”

“She sure is,” Trump replied. “She’s cutting holes in the ice.”


QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

Democrats haven't been this upset since Republicans freed their slaves. - Unknown

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

I was a Democrat for a period of time early on. And then I was also an independent. And then I became a Republican. - Donald Trump

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too. - Oscar Levant

The Republicans have all of the cards. And this is the time to get rid of Obamacare. This is the time to make the great deal. - Donald Trump

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner


see also   Fishing  &  Political  Sections
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25-Aug-2019