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Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Children are poor people's riches. - Unknown

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Never have children, only grandchildren. - Gore Vidal

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

The soul is healed by being with children. - Fyodor Dostoyevski

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown

When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point. - Barack Obama

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

I don't teach my children what is Hindu and what is Muslim. - Shah Rukh Khan

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Children see things very well sometimes - and idealists even better. - Lorraine Hansbury

As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal. - Mr. T

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much. - Marian W. Edelman

The hour of happiness will be the more welcome, the less it was expected. - Horace

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. - Unknown

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult. - Chris Hardwick

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children - one is roots, and the other, wings. - Hodding S. Carter

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take ‘em. - Bernie Mac

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. - Ann Landers

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller


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28-May-2017