A firefighter was working on the engine outside the fire hall, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
“That sure is a nice fire truck,” the firefighter said with admiration.
“Thanks,” the girl replied.
The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog’s collar and to the cat’s testicles.
“Little partner,” the firefighter said, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”
The little girl replied thoughtfully, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”
Sirens is golden!
A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb
A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato
Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown
Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten
People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. - Abigail Van Buren
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield
It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown
If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
Don't depend on anyone else to toot your horn. I mean, do you really want their lips on it, anyway? - Faydra D. Fields
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown
When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown
Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. - Charlie Parker
I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong
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