I Will Never Tell

Next time I’ll let William shoot...

Reporting a shooting in the hospital emergency ward



Elephant Instructions

QuotaBills
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


see also   Emergency,  Hospital  &  Medical  Sections
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18-Nov-2017