Trump’s Tax Returns

He’s found a secure place where they won’t be found


During a recent Donald Trump rally, a heckler from the audience hollered, “Hey Trump, where are you hiding your tax returns?”

The Donald politely responded, “I’ve found a very secure place where I’m certain they won’t be found.”

The insistent heckler, then shouted, “And just where is that, dummy?”

The Donald smiled and said, “They are underneath Obama’s college records, his passport application, his immigration status as a student, his funding sources to pay for college, his college records, and his Selective Service registration.”

“What’s your next question?”


QuotaBills
My own tax expert, H & R Crock. - Archie Bunker

No taxation without regimentation. - Archie Bunker

The current tax code is a daily mugging. - Ronald Reagan

Taxation without representation is tyranny. - James Otis

I'm very strongly against tax increases. - Donald Trump

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

The power to tax involves the power to destroy. - John Marshall

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers

I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged. - Roger Jones

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? - Milton Berle

There's nothing like a two-hour tax appointment to make you question your career. - Shawn Hitchins

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown

Why do I have to follow CNN on Twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN. - Jon Stewart

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide. - Mortimer Caplan

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

The wisdom of man never yet contrived a system of taxation that would operate with perfect equality. - Andrew Jackson

I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

The biggest mistake we see companies make when they first hit Twitter is to think about it as a channel to push out information. - Tim O'Reilly

On my income tax 1040 it says, "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. - Tom Lehrer

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. - Winston Churchill


see also   Government  &  Political  Sections
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25-May-2017