Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


see also   Medical  Section
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Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
Whiskey Silly

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Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
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Bed Friends
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First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
Dreaded Furniture Disease
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I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
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Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
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12-Nov-2019