Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright


see also   Medical  Section
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21-Oct-2018