Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


see also   Medical  Section
Bed Ridden and Proud Of It
Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
Whiskey Silly

Acupuncture Face
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Bandage Art
Bed Friends
Brain Warmer
Breast Cancer Cure
Car Bandaid
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chewing Gum Hazard
DentAid
Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Harley Half Ton
Help For Dead Children
Hygiene On The Farm
I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
Suspicious Blood Donor
Swine Flew
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
Treadmill Workout
Twin Dish
Worst Aid
Zip Tie Prank

 

TP Safety

Crochet Shorts

Wine Bottle Recycling

Garden Outhouse

Alberta Winter Fridge

Wheelbarrow Wheelies

Redneck Deer Stand

Bucket Seat

Security Camera Setup

Smithton Stoneys

Hearse Parking

Just Saying Goodbye

Golden End of the Rainbow

Redneck Shower

Thank You For Driving

Debbie's Fridge

Just Be Ugly

Ex-Benedict

Scubaru

Irish Handcuffs
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19-Mar-2019