Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth. - Unknown

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift

Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison


see also   Medical  Section
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23-Jun-2018