Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown


see also   Medical  Section
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Costco Whiskey
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Little Drinking Problem
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Irish Flu Shots
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Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
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18-Jan-2019