Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana

Where a man feels pain he lays his hand. - Dutch Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


see also   Medical  Section
Bed Ridden and Proud Of It
Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
Whiskey Silly

Acupuncture Face
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Bandage Art
Bed Friends
Brain Warmer
Breast Cancer Cure
Car Bandaid
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chewing Gum Hazard
DentAid
Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Harley Half Ton
Help For Dead Children
Hygiene On The Farm
I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
Suspicious Blood Donor
Swine Flew
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
Treadmill Workout
Twin Dish
Worst Aid
Zip Tie Prank

 

Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home

Fliptus

Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume

Canadian Gun Shop

Hogwart's Other Bridge

Excalibutter

As The World Turns

Bird Condo

Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

25-May-2019