Men In Retirement
[It is
important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to
maintain the same quality of housekeeping they did when they were younger. When men notice
this, they should try not to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation...]
When I chucked my job and took early retirement a year ago, it became necessary for Nancy
to get a full-time job both for extra income and for health insurance benefits that we
need. She was a trained lab tech when we met thirty some years ago and was fortunate to
land a job at the local medical center as a phlebotomist.
It was shortly after she started working at this job that I noticed that she was beginning
to show her age. I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets
home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to
rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell at her when this
happens. Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is not as young as
she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.
She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual
for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding
her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she
appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, Nancy used to be able to
go up and down the stairs all day and not get tired. Now that she is older she seems to
get tired so much more quickly. Sometimes she says she just can't take another trip down
those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the
next evening I am willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something
ironed to wear to the Monday's lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or
to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until
the next evening to do the ironing.
This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing
the dog, vacuuming, or dusting. Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows
her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.
Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough
for me to notice. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to
pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to
try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That
way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now
and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods than she used to
have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take a break when she was only
half finished mowing the yard. I overlook comments like these because I realize it's just
age talking. In fact, I try to not embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest
breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and
just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as
well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I
fall asleep.
I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from. I know that I probably
look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the
ability to show this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some
will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as
they get older. My purpose in writing this is simply to suggest that you make the effort.
I realize that achieving the exemplary level of showing consideration I have attained is
out of reach for the average man. However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a
little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.
[This was written by the deceased husband of a friend... He passed on shortly after
writing this. I think she killed him...]