That’s Your Father

Tracing the family tree at the beach


A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother, “Who’s this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?”

“That’s your father.”

“Then who’s that old bald-headed fat man who lives with us now?”


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No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader

Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

The rich man has more relations than he knows. - French Proverb

An iron curtain has descended across the continent. - Winston Churchill

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson

Anybody can make history, only a great man can write it. - Oscar Wilde

The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

I know love at first sight can work. It happened to my parents. - George Clooney

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

My father... one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time. - WC Fields

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard. - Robin Williams

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

It is a desirable thing to be well-descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors. - Plutarch

To lose one parent may be regarded as misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. - Oscar Wilde

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary. - Thomas Paine

My parents always told me I could do anything, but never told me how long it would take. - Rita Rudner

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Until you become a parent, you can't begin to discover your capacity for strength, love and fatigue. - Peter Gallagher

All dentists talk while they work. They have inherited this from their professional ancestors, the barbers. - Mark Twain

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

Children aren’t happy without something to ignore,
And that’s what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight. - Joseph Addison

The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


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24-Jun-2017