That’s Your Father

Tracing the family tree at the beach


A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother, “Who’s this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?”

“That’s your father.”

“Then who’s that old bald-headed fat man who lives with us now?”


QuotaBills
Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible

Anybody can make history, only a great man can write it. - Oscar Wilde

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

The meek shall inherit the world, but they'll never increase market share. - William G McGowan

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. - Daniel J. Boorstin

It is a desirable thing to be well-descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors. - Plutarch

My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis

The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to. - Dodie Smith

Our ancestors are very good kind of folks; but they are the last people I should choose to have a visiting acquaintance with. - Richard B. Sheridan

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


see also   Family  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
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Looking For Your Wife?
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Understanding Women

 

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21-Mar-2019