That’s Your Father

Tracing the family tree at the beach


A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother, “Who’s this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?”

“That’s your father.”

“Then who’s that old bald-headed fat man who lives with us now?”


QuotaBills
Aren't most of you descended from pirates? - Prince Philip

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert

I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world. - Bill Watterson

Do well and you will have no need for ancestors. - Voltaire

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington

She's descended from a long line her mother listened to. - Gypsy Rose Lee

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu

My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis

To lose one parent may be regarded as misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. - Oscar Wilde

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

I don't know who my grandfather was, I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be. - Abraham Lincoln

It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it. - Kim Hubbard

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

All dentists talk while they work. They have inherited this from their professional ancestors, the barbers. - Mark Twain

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. - Helen Keller

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung

Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus

Our ancestors ... possessed a right, which nature has given to all men, of departing from the country in which chance, not choice has placed them. - Thomas Jefferson

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

If you think that nobility consists of having sixteen ancestors rather than merit, great Prince, then you may - and you may also praise or condemn me. - Franz Grillparzer

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Family  &  Relationship   Sections
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“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
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Looking For Your Wife?
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Understanding Women

 

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24-May-2019