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Cross-Eyed Bull
Newfie Vet’s “Proctocol” Remedy

Shamus owned the largest bull in Newfoundland, weighing over 3,800 pounds. The bull was a very majestic animal and was the talk of the town. Only problem was that the bull was cross-eyed and kept stumbling into things.

Shamus called the town veterinarian and asked him to come out and see if something could be done to improve the bull’s eyesight. The next morning, the vet showed up with a 5-foot piece of rubber hose.

“What are you gonna do with that piece of hose, Doc,” asked Shamus.
The vet replied, “You tie up that bull to the fence, then I think I can fix your problem.”

After the bull was tied up, the vet went to the back of the bull and shoved one end of the hose up the bull’s rear end. Then he proceeded to blow into the other end of the hose. Watching from the front, Shamus saw the bull’s eyes go bug-eyed and almost straighten out, but not quite.

After several vain attempts, Shamus said, “Let me try, Doc.” Then Shamus pulled the hose out of the bull, and stuck the other end of the hose in the bull.

The vet shouted, “Why’d you do that?”

Shamus replied, “You don’t think I’m gonna put my mouth on the end you had your mouth on, do you?”


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25-Mar-2017