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Why I Fired My Secretary
Waiting for a birthday celebration?

Yesterday was my 40th birthday and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday” - and probably have a present for me. She didn’t even say, “Good Morning” let alone any “Happy Birthday.”

I thought, “Well, that’s wives for you... the children will remember.”

The children came in to breakfast and didn’t say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office my secretary, Heather, said, “Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday.” And I felt a little better - someone had remembered.

I worked until noon. Then Heather knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday, let’s go to lunch - just you and me.”

I said, “That’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.”

We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go - we went out to the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day. We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”
I said, “No, I guess not.”
She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.”

After arriving at her apartment she said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go change.”
“Sure,” I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And there I sat... on the couch... naked...


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19-Jun-2019