Texas Divorce

It’s OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!


Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement,
she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to
give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to
her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it
was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until
I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba

Pickup truck smashed through side of building - Texas Divorce

QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Useless laws weaken necessary laws. - Charles de Secondat

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

You're breakin' about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen. - Archie Bunker

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo

In Islam, the legislative power and competence to establish laws belong exclusively to God. - Ayatollah Khomeini

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

The trouble with our laws these days is that the criminals know their rights better than their wrongs. - Unknown

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. - Plato

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

One does not, by knowing all the physical laws as we know them today, immediately obtain an understanding of anything much. - Richard Feynman

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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26-Sep-2017