Texas Divorce

It’s OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!


Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement,
she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to
give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to
her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it
was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until
I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba

Pickup truck smashed through side of building - Texas Divorce

QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

One does not, by knowing all the physical laws as we know them today, immediately obtain an understanding of anything much. - Richard Feynman

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein


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