Texas Divorce

It’s OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!


Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba

Pickup truck smashed through side of building - Texas Divorce

QuotaBills
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. - Mark Twain

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo

In Islam, the legislative power and competence to establish laws belong exclusively to God. - Ayatollah Khomeini

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

One does not, by knowing all the physical laws as we know them today, immediately obtain an understanding of anything much. - Richard Feynman

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


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23-May-2018