Texas Divorce

It’s OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!


Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba

Pickup truck smashed through side of building - Texas Divorce

QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Even when laws have been written down, they ought not always to remain unaltered. - Aristotle

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.


see also   Divorce,  Lawyer  &  Marriage   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Arkansas Divorce Application
Babcock Divorce
Communication Divorce
Divorce Cakes
Divorce Defined
Divorce Is Grand
In Three Pictures
Just Divorced
Keyboard Wedding
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Old Divorce
Perfect Divorce
Polish Divorce
Redneck Divorce
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Wink
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
Why We Live in Texas

 

Smoking In The Boy’s Room

High Tide Heels

Pen Utensils

SUV Sinkhole

Show Stopper

You Never Call

Not Going Outside Minions

Acoustic Hearing Aids

How To Spot A Rich Guy

Two Face

Angry Bird

Bach Scratching

Redneck Hotter Tub

Foot Wear

2fer Sudoku Puzzles G
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

22-Feb-2018