Texas Divorce

It’s OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!


Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba

Pickup truck smashed through side of building - Texas Divorce

QuotaBills
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. - Otto von Bismarck

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

One does not, by knowing all the physical laws as we know them today, immediately obtain an understanding of anything much. - Richard Feynman

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


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15-Nov-2018