Church Sign Humour

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My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humour. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

If you're not failing now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. - Woody Allen

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. - Mark Twain

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison


see also   Religious  &  Sign  Sections
All Dogs Go To Heaven
Biblical Humour
Church Sign Messages
Devil Sky
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
Judas Asparagus
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses’ USB Tablets
Need A Lifeguard?
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Prayer Conditioning
Prayer Request for Bob
Sundae Sermon
Truth Decay
Uplifting Church
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Hye Spirits

Bat Shade

Party Frog

Designer Dog

Redneck Repair Kit

5th Beatle

Redneck Wine Rack

Domino Telephone Booths

Saudi Paddleboarders

Extreme Littering

British Hairways

With Or Without The Beatles

How To Improve Your Car's Radio Reception

Stop And Smell The Flowers

Night Watch

Leg Works

Laws Of Physics For Goats

Saskatchewan Roads

Join Me For A Swim

The Netherlands Canadian Tulip
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19-Jun-2019