Church Sign Humour

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An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - James Thurber

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

For the man who prays in his heart, the whole world is a church. - Sylvain of Athos

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humour. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell


see also   Religious  &  Sign  Sections
All Dogs Go To Heaven
Biblical Humour
Church Sign Messages
Devil Sky
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
Judas Asparagus
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses’ USB Tablets
Need A Lifeguard?
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Prayer Conditioning
Prayer Request for Bob
Sundae Sermon
Truth Decay
Uplifting Church
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy

Fresh Air Computing

Porpoise Pilots

Sorry Employees

Sidecar

Middle East Play House

Cadillac Clearance

Don't Believe Everything You Read

Bee Prepared

Stolen Car
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19-Oct-2019