He Looks Just Like His Father!

Is this Doc all he’s quacked up to be?

When guys may want a 2nd delivery opinion

When pregnant men deliver a baby

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

see also   Doctor  Section


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