Singing Gynecologist

Gynecologist’s “tip”: whistle while you work


A new, young MD was doing his residency in gynecology. He was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To conceal his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

A middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.

He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?”

She replied, “No Doctor, but the song you were whistling was ‘I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’ ”


QuotaBills
An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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23-Oct-2018