Singing Gynecologist

Gynecologist’s “tip”: whistle while you work


A new, young MD was doing his residency in gynecology. He was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To conceal his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

A middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.

He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?”

She replied, “No Doctor, but the song you were whistling was ‘I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’ ”


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Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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19-Jul-2018