Singing Gynecologist

Gynecologist’s “tip”: whistle while you work


A new, young MD was doing his residency in gynecology. He was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To conceal his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

A middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.

He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?”

She replied, “No Doctor, but the song you were whistling was ‘I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’ ”


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No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno


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20-Jun-2019