Soon-To-Be Ex-Wife

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Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


see also   Marriage,  Relationship  &  Sign  Sections
Better Lawyer
Meet Your Future Ex-Wife
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Returning the Stinky House to the Ex-Wife

 

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19-May-2019