Q: Why isn’t the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can’t hold on to a lead.
Q: What’s the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: Why do the English make better lovers than the Portuguese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one’s who can stay on top for 45 minutes and
still come second.
Q: What is common between a 3-pin plug and the England football team?
A: They are both useless in Europe.
Q: What’s the difference between O J Simpson and England?
A: O J Simpson had a more credible defence.
Q. What’s the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
Q. You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and Jimmy Hill. You have
a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot Jimmy Hill - twice.
Q. What’s the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead English
football fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve
to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle.
Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their necks
A. Not enough sand.
Q: What’s the difference between The Invisible Man and Scotland?
A: You’ve got more chance of seeing The Invisible Man at the World Cup Finals.
Q: What’s the difference between a PG Tips monkey and a Scottish footballer?
A: A PG Tips monkey has been seen holding a cup.
Oxo were going to bring out a World Cup Commemorative cube painted red, white
and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing stock and
crumbled in the box.
Stealth Flying Saucer