Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

The law is silent during war. - Cicero

The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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17-Oct-2017