Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?

Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...

We had no idea anyone was buried there!

Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...

Please - if you’ve seen this man...

And you wonder why...

Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?

Only in America...

What are the odds of that?

The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...

Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!

Just a friendly reminder...

Just when you thought it was around age 20...

When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...

An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...

“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”

The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne

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