Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


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18-Jan-2019