Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. - Charles Kuralt

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

Why don't you put that in the headline: "He Only Did Three With Doris!" Set a lot of people straight. - Rock Hudson

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


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23-Aug-2017