Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Why don't you put that in the headline: "He Only Did Three With Doris!" Set a lot of people straight. - Rock Hudson

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


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23-May-2017