Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. - Charles Kuralt

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille


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27-Mar-2017