Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. - Charles Kuralt

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


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17-Jun-2019