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Olympic Games Quotes
Athletes and sports announcers say some incredibly dubm things…
see also  Olympic Section


“A brain scan revealed Andrew Caddick is not suffering from a stress fracture of the shin.” – Joe Sheldon

“Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the IOC President is hugging the cox of the British crew.” – At a rowing medal ceremony

“And for those of you who watched the last programme, I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny’s.” – David Coleman

“… and later we’ll have action from the men’s cockles pairs.” – Sue Barker, rowing commentator

“Bobby Gould thinks I’m trying to stab him in the back. In fact, I’m right behind him.” – Stuart Pearson

“For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip.” – John Motson, football commentator

“Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, now 67 years of age and too old to get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand.” – Ted Lowe

“He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.” – Basketball analyst

“Her time is about 4.33, which she’s capable of.” – David Coleman

“I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.” – Stuart Pearce

“I can’t tell who’d leading. It’s either Oxford or Cambridge.” – John Snagge

“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” – Paul Hamm, Gymnast

“I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad I won rather than lost.” – Frank Bruno

“I would not say he is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.” – Ron Atkinson

“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.” – Softball announcer

“I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.” – Mark Draper

“I’ll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right.” – Marion Starling

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.” – Winston Bennett

“It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up.” – Ian Wright

“Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.” – Soccer commentator

“Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansell. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers.” – Murray Walker

“Lara’s chanced his arm, and it’s come off.” – Brian Johnston

“One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them…” – Tennis commentator

“Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.” – David Acfield

“Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.” – Boxing analyst

“That’s inches away from being millimetre perfect.” – Ted Lowe

“The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.” – Murray Walker – racing commentator

“The Port Elizabeth ground is more of a circle than an oval. It’s long and square.” – Trevor Bailey

“The race course is as level as a billiard ball.” – John Francombe

“There goes Juan Torera down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.” – David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics

“There’s going to be a real ding dong when the bell goes.” – David Coleman

“This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.” – Weightlifting commentator

“This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.” – Ted Walsh, dressage commentator

“To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.” – Ruud Gullit, football coach

“Watch the time – it gives you an indication of how fast they are running.” – Ron Pickering

“We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalised.” – Ian McNail, football commentator

“We didn’t underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought.” – Bobby Robson

“We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.” – Murray Walker, racing commentator

“We’ll still be happy if we lose. It’s on at the same time as the Beer Festival.” – Noel O’Mahoney

“Well, either side could win, or it could be a draw.” – Ron Atkinson