Leading economic indicators in today’s economy
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ounce.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s name.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
God gave me my money. - John D. Rockefeller
Bloods’ not thicker than money. - Groucho Marx
Money: the poor man's credit card. - Marshal McLuhan
A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson
Money follows passion - not the other way around. - Unknown
Fidelity bought with money can be overcome by money. - Seneca
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. - WC Fields
Money does not make you happy but it quiets the nerves. - Sean O Casey
Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds
One dollar for eternal happiness? I'd be happier with the dollar. - Charles Montgomery Burns
The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. - Peter deVries
A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money. - Everett Dirksen
Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark? - Steven Spielberg
I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers
Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams
Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker
The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffet
With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome - and you sing well too. - Yiddish Proverb
It's better to do nothing with your money than something you don't understand. - Suze Orman
Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money and power and influence. - Henry Chester
To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw
France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder
People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it. - Jay Leno
Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. - Jules Renard
Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. - Kurt H Adler
I'm proud to be paying taxes. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money. - Arthur Godfrey
The man who leaves money to charity in his will is only giving away what no longer belongs to him. - Voltaire
It is not the employer who pays wages; he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. - Henry Ford
Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. - Ernest Haskins
Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx
All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one. - Homer Simpson
The attention economy is not growing, which means we have to grab the attention that someone else has today. - Brent Leary
I don't make deals for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. - Donald Trump
The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings. I found out I have all the money I'll ever need if I die tomorrow. - Henny Youngman
I've no interest on initiating a fashion trend on Coruscant or anywhere else. I simply want a uniform that fits. - James Luceno
Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb
NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran
Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers
Business, Finance & Stress
Read My Lipstick
Standard & Poor’s Downgrade
Made His Bed
Only In Canada - Nosey Moose
Wise Electricity Use
Redneck Ice Fishing
Skeletons In The Closet
Captive Audience Twins
Nailed It Baby
Holding His Own Portraits
Hawaii Scuba Bus
Original Play Station