Doc In A Box

New Brunswick opens new facilities to reduce wait times





QuotaBills
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

I blinked and I cured my brain. That's how. Everybody has the power. Can't is the cancer of happen. - Charlie Sheen

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


see also   Doctor  Section
1-800-PILLCASH
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Alzheimer’s Wing
An Old Man’s Dying Request
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Birth Control Pill For Men
Car Surgeon
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chiropractor Mailbox
Coke Dispenser
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
Diabetes Medication
Do You Have An HMO?
Doctor Stories
Doctor Types
Doctor’s Flat Examination
Doctor’s Hunting Skills
Doctor’s OR Specialty
Dog Proctologist
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Ebola Diet
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
Flu Fashion
German Flatulence Control
Help For Dead Children
HMO Judgment Day
Hygiene On The Farm
HAGS Disease
Mechanical Patient
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Redneck Flu Shot
Simple Surgery
Singing Gynecologist
Sons Of Arthritis
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tattoo Implants
Typeface for Doctors
Viagra Overdose

 

Frozen Theater

2018 Rush Job Calendar

Chocolate Math for 2018

Moon Filament

Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Glass Prescription

Redneck House Cleaning

2fer Sudoku Puzzles E

Straightjacket Fashion

Why Stand In Line?

Shelf Ready Sleeper

Deadneck Repairs

Starbucks Bethlehem

Bouncing Checks

Abbreviated Beetle

Nose Ring

Look At It This Way

Holy Bagel

The Ig Nobel Awards

Dead Hand
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

22-Jan-2018