Smirnoff Women

We don’t serve women here - you have to bring your own





The only thing Bubba remembered was the bar sign

QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. - Oscar Wilde

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


see also   Bartender  &  Sign  Sections
Alcohol Research
Calculus Drinks
Canadian Whiskey
Chemical Solutions
Cold Beer
Dog Beer Conversion
Drink, Don’t Drive
Efficient Humans
Everything OK Bar
Follow Me Sandals
Husband Creche
Irish Flu Shots
Irish Sunblock
Lamp Post For Sale
Leave My Drink Alone
Life’s Choices
Little Drinker
Men To The Left
Scottish Haircut
Snow Songs
Something Witty
Soup Of The Day
Special Offer
The Importance Of Education
The No Brainer
Trampolining Competition
Weekend Plans
Where Do You Want To Eat?
Whiskey Lurks Good
Yoga Stress Relief

 

Bird Plane

At Home Grave

Stern Warning - a Not Yacht

No Shooting

Does Your Dog Look Unusual?

Golf Like I Do

Surreal Cubist

Transparent Touch Calculator

Young Piper

Escher Dilemma

Apple Watch

Obesity Is OK

Eye Like It

CensorShip

Boatload Interception

Canadian Kiss

Eiffel Tower Crane

Alice In Hulaland

Museum Charge

ManHole
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

19-Oct-2018