Smirnoff Women

We don’t serve women here - you have to bring your own

The only thing Bubba remembered was the bar sign

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. - Oscar Wilde

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you. - Groucho Marx

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich

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The Importance Of Education
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Whiskey Lurks Good
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