Early Christmas Shopping

Charged with early shopping


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” replied the prisoner.


QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

Early in the morning when the crows cock. - Archie Bunker

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then better be able to find out the natural bent of the child. - Plato

In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In later years, you fight because you do. - Joan Didion

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


see also   Christmas,  Lawyer,  Prison  &  Shopping  Sections

 

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19-Aug-2018