Early Christmas Shopping

Charged with early shopping


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” replied the prisoner.


QuotaBills
Vote early and vote often. - Al Capone

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

History is a vast early warning system. - Norman Cousins

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

Early in the morning when the crows cock. - Archie Bunker

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

Buy low, sell high, collect early, and pay late. - Dick Levin

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. - Jean-Paul Sartre

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

There is the greatest practical benefit in making a few failures early in life. - Thomas Henry Huxley

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

I learned at an early age that if you are nice to men, you can get anything you want from them. - Natalie Wood

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then better be able to find out the natural bent of the child. - Plato

If only I'd known that one day my differentness would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier. - Bette Midler

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season. - Bill Vaughan


see also   Christmas,  Lawyer,  Prison  &  Shopping  Sections

 

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18-Jan-2018