Early Christmas Shopping

Charged with early shopping


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” replied the prisoner.


QuotaBills
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Buy low, sell high, collect early, and pay late. - Dick Levin

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

Sunsets are great. Sunrises are a mixed bag. You either got up way too early or went to bed way too late. - Matt Dillon

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman

I was a Democrat for a period of time early on. And then I was also an independent. And then I became a Republican. - Donald Trump

Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then better be able to find out the natural bent of the child. - Plato

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille


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28-May-2017