Early Christmas Shopping

Charged with early shopping


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” replied the prisoner.


QuotaBills
The early worm gets caught. - John Igo

The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

The trouble with dawn is that it comes too early in the day. - Susan Richman

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. - Jean-Paul Sartre

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light. What so proudly we hailed. Of thee I sing. - Archie Bunker

I learned at an early age that if you are nice to men, you can get anything you want from them. - Natalie Wood

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

Early on, if I was alone two or three nights in a row, I'd start writing poems about suicide. - Jack Nicholson

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

If only I'd known that one day my differentness would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier. - Bette Midler

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

There's an upside to grandparenthood. You play, you give, you love, then you hand them back and go to an early movie. - Billy Crystal

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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19-Sep-2017