Early Christmas Shopping

Charged with early shopping


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” replied the prisoner.


QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Vote early and vote often. - Al Capone

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

History is a vast early warning system. - Norman Cousins

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

I must confess, I was born at a very early age. - Groucho Marx

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

No man goes before his time ... unless the boss leaves early. - Groucho Marx

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

If you get a reputation as an early riser, you can sleep till noon. - Irish Proverb

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

Most of the early part of an actor's career, you do the jobs you get. - Jack Nicholson

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then better be able to find out the natural bent of the child. - Plato

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In later years, you fight because you do. - Joan Didion

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season. - Bill Vaughan


see also   Christmas,  Lawyer,  Prison  &  Shopping  Sections

 

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20-Apr-2018