Monk’s Christmas Vow

Preparing for the once-a-year speech


At a monastery high in the mountains, the monks have a rigid vow of silence. Only at Christmas, and only by one monk, and only with one sentence, is the vow allowed to be broken.

One Christmas, Brother Ben is allowed to speak and he says, “I like the mashed potatoes we have with the Christmas turkey!” and he sits down. Silence ensues for 365 days.

The next Christmas, Brother David gets his turn, and he says, “I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I hate them!”

Once again, silence for 366 days (it’s leap year). The following Christmas, Brother Rod rises and says, “I am fed up with this constant bickering!”


QuotaBills
When money speaks, truth keeps silent. - Russian Proverb

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

When the owl sings, the night is silent. - Charles de Leusse

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

I never heard a minute's silence like that. - Glenn Hoddle

Don't talk unless you can improve the silence. - Jorge Luis Borges

How do I learn to speak when silence is all I know? - Susie Clevenger

I want you all to synchronize your tongues to silence. - Archie Bunker

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. - Marcel Achard

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

When the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful. - Malala Yusafzai

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

He has occasional flashes of silence that make his conversation perfectly delightful. - Sydney Smith

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

Complaint always comes back in an echo from the ends of the world, but silence strengthens us. - G K Chesterton

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The greatest ideas, the most profound thoughts, and the most beautiful poetry are born from the womb of silence. - William A. Ward

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. - Brooks Atkinson

The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenements halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. - Paul Simon

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

He who begins with Metaphysics will not only become confused in matters of religion, but will fall into complete infidelity. - Maimonides

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others. - Solomon Ibn Gabriol

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison


see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks
Voices In My Head

 

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25-May-2018